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DeletedAccount31
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Re: Advice on girlfriend and parents - November 15th 2011, 10:45 AM

Hey Theo!

Congratulations on wanting to come out! That's extremely courageous of you! (Congratulations on ten months with your girlfriend, too!) I know it can be a tough decision, but it's good that you know your friends will support you. That makes it a heck of a lot easier, especially at school!

Will you also be entering high school? Your freshman year is a good time to come out, I think, because while you will probably be with some kids from your old school, you will be introduced to many new faces as well. These new people in your life will know you as bi from day one and it won't come as much of a shock as it might if you'd known them for years. They won't have to "adjust" their perceived image of you in their heads, because they're just getting to know you.

As for your family, are they homophobic? Do you think you'd be in danger of being kicked out or anything like that if you told them? If that's the case, I would put off coming out until you're in a better position. Remember, your safety always comes first! But if you don't think that'd be an issue, I would sit down with them and calmly explain that you're bi and are currently dating a girl. Tell them that she means a lot to you and you would like to be able to be open about your relationship. Be as calm as you can and try not to get angry or defensive. They might be more likely to listen if you remain composed and explain yourself in a mature way.

You want your parents to see that your relationship is normal. So try to act casual about it. If you're not making a big deal out of it, people might be less likely to as well. This is something I talked about with my girlfriend before we came out publicly. You want to seem like every other relationship out there, because you're just as natural as every other relationship out there!

Do you think that more people are accepting of the LGBT community in your area? If that's the case, then maybe your parents don't have to worry about their reputation much. I think in general, people tend to be more understanding and more open about their own curiosities. But this really depends on where you live.

I think that as long as you're not in any danger, you should come out if you want to. I understand that having your parents' approval is a huge thing! But don't let their reputation stop you from doing what you and your girlfriend want. Give your parents some time to accept it if they need.

I hope this helps! Take care!

Last edited by DeletedAccount31; November 20th 2011 at 01:40 PM. Reason: Grammar error.