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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
November 2nd 2011, 09:01 PM
I told a priest that I cut myself. It was at a retreat, he doesn't know anything but my first name. He didn't ask which church I go to, or what youth group I'm in. I wanted to tell him I'm afraid. The urges are getting stronger and it's harder to fight them. I don't like cutting my wrists because I don't like long sleeved shirts, but I've started cutting them again. He told me he'll pray for me. I wish I could have told him.
Also at the retreat there was a speaker. I couldn't stop crying so I left the area my youth group was sitting in and went to the back of the room. He told us to raise our hands if something applies to us. He said people who don't think they're beautiful, who hide behind a mask day in and day out, people who hate themselves and can't feel or understand the love someone may hold for them. Two of us raised our hands. Out of three hundred kids, two. I started sobbing. A girl I've never seen before held me until I stopped. She told me that she loves me, God loves me, everyone in this room loves me. I'm so strong, I'm so beautiful. She kept hugging me until I stopped crying completely. Then she let go and walked away. Why didn't I stop her and thank her? Friends from my parish saw me crying when I was with them and didn't do anything but stare. Does a random stranger really care more about me then my friends do?
There was also a concert. When Laura Story preformed Blessing I started crying again. My youth minister was standing right next to me, she watched me cry. I met her eyes and she turned and walked away. No stranger came this time.
I'm really as pathetic as I think I am.
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