It's like an addiction for most people. I have tried to be
SH free for the past 5 years. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I haven't slipped, because I have. alot. but I have pushed forward and have seeked help and now I tell someone I have slipped, just so I have someone that can keep their eye on me incase I continue to harm myself. Maybe that's what you need. If you have anyone you can confide in, do so.