[Eternal]

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything.

I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Sorry. I know I seem angry.
I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with it accordingly.

And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don’t need them pointing out my problems, they’re mine.
Don’t need reminders, I know better than anyone.

I know I should’ve moved on ages ago
Been happy already.
but it’s never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.