I'm only a jr high student, so i'm well aware that i'm very young and that i have an entire life ahead of me, and many, many people out there that i've yet to meet, but i would still really like to be in a relationship. I suppose it's fair to say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic--just a bit ;p--but it's not like i'm looking for some random guy (i'm a girl, yes) whose hot or something. I find myself truly yearning for a relationship where the other party is there to notice the tiny things that may be bothering me; like the type who makes me feel included if i'm with people i don't know, but he does. Know what i mean? I think it would be fair to say that i might be confusing what I want with a having a good friend, but i think i want something more intimate. I've never really felt as if i've had a relationship with anyone (meaning friends, family, and so on) where i can completely let go and relax--i'm the type that horribly fears being judged and am I kind of have minor trust issues :T.
So yes, once again, I know I'm young and that any turbulent feelings I have may very well be because of hormones and puberty and all that...
But either way, I'd like to see what people think of this.
Also, there is one guy that i really feel i like. We've been going to the same church for at least maybe 6-7 years now, although we didn't really start talking up until 3-4 months ago. :P He's actually going to be a highschool senior, so you can see that age gap going on. Plus, he'll be off to college soon anyways. But I still really think I like him. I'm not even sure myself, but I'm always looking forward to seeing him. (once a week) I don't know if he pays extra attention to me, and I'm a bit cautious in thinking so because of our age gap. (It's 4 years, which wouldn't be that much for adults, but when it's between teens, it seems pretty darn big.) He teases me a lot, but it's all playful and stuff. Our cell phones look pretty similar, except mine's fancier,
and he often times jokes about he'll steal my phone secretly and stuff. I really think that, compared to the other girls who are at church, he treats me differently. But, I'd prefer to call my self a realist, and I just can't see anything like a confession going on. Plus, one of the BIG things in this is that he probably has a gf...so...yeah. I realize that I'm probably too young, he's most likely already dating, and he'll be off to college soon; but I still like him. I also get that I might just like him because he's older, but I'd hope not...because it's not like he's the only male highschool senior i know. Personally, i think i've already given up on any possible relationship (romantically) that could happen, and I'm planning on just letting time do the trick and move on...so, i guess i'm just ranting about this. I'm sorry. But, like I said, I really just want to know what you guys think about me feeling/thinking this way. >-<
Haha, I over-think things a lot, and sorry for writing a bit much and for any wandering thoughts. xP