[charmbraceletxo]

Hello, all! It's been a great while since I've been on this thing. Anyway, I'm in dire need of advice in regards to my alcohol usage. I don't know what to do at this point--each and every single time I drink, I put myself in a, uh, less than desirable situation...and end up saying/doing things that I IMMENSELY regret later on For instance, last time I drank, I completely blacked out and allegedly began telling everyone that I was sexually assaulted as a child (which is a mere half-truth; there was a minor incident that occurred when I was ~7 (if I recall), but it wasn't anything serious). Apparently, I started screaming/crying that I was raped, etc., etc. The time before that, I got drunk by myself, walked to a local grocery market to purchase more alcohol, and proceeded to drink even more in the parking lot. Luckily, my boyfriend and his friend came to pick me up and took care of me the rest of the night--but I become very, um, belligerent with my boyfriend (threatening to tell the police that he'd raped me, throwing a milkshake and my makeup bag at him, etc., etc.). I don't know how/why I become this way when I'm intoxicated--I used to have such amazing and RESPONSIBLE fun when I drank before, but over the course of the past several months, I've managed to black out/turn into a complete monster when I drink. I should also make mention of the fact that I've ended up in the hospital twice due to alcohol related injuries and alcohol poisoning.

Please best rest assured that I'm not an alcoholic--I don't CRAVE alcohol the way that many alcoholics do...I always "start off" with the pure intention of having a good time and not getting "too drunk"...but something happens between being tipsy and drunk...apparently, I swipe other people's drinks, demand more alcohol, etc., etc...and I don't know what to do I don't want to never drink again because I do genuinely enjoy it (when done responsibly), but for some reason, meanwhile drunk, I completely turn into a different person

Can anyone lend me a helping hand here? I feel like such a loser

Thank you kindly in advance for your support.