[Le Papillon]

im real;ly missin you tonight.. if things were still the same, im sure youd love what i want to tell you right now.. its just about my day, but it was great. and.. well, i know i have to forget about you, because i never even meant anything to you, but the way you.. the way you SEEMED to love me.. and then the way.. the way i found out you lied.. that broke me down. i.. i was SO CLOSE to doing it.. the only reasons i didnt was i wasnt home, and the one friend who acctualy knew how to help, just a little.. nomatter how much it hurt. and.. i guess this is a good thing, but while i had so much fun today, i hardly thought about you at all. it kinda makes me feel bad, but at the same time, i know i have to let go. i know i have to, but im not to sure i WANT to.. i love you.. i always will. but i know ill never be yours. i never was.. you said i was, but i wasnt. it was all i lie. but i NEVER lied to you. ever. i was totaly true with you, and i dont understand what i did wrong.. why you played me like you did. but i forgave you before you even did anything to me. there was never really anything to forgive, because i KNOW it was all my fault. the entire time, it was all my doing. im not sure what i did, but i know it was me. it always is. i let me let you let me destroy me inside, so theres ntohing for me to forgive you for. but i cant forgive myself. i dO have to get over you though. how, i dont know. but i do. and itll hurt.. but.. ill have to. and even though it was all fake to you, i think you acctualy helped me in a way that noone else ever could.. i knwo its hard to beleive, but you did. so thank you. for everything. even if it never meant anything to you, I never meant anything to you. it meant everything to me though. YOU meant everything.. and ill never truely forget that. just please.. PLEASE.. be happy, okay? its all i want..