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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
July 24th 2011, 06:28 AM
No matter what I say, I miss you. No matter how much I deny it, I still care about you. No matter that I'm never going to talk to you again, some of my best memories are with you. You'll never know it, and no one ever will, sometimes I pull out pictures from that box and I cry all night. Sometimes I'll pull out that scarf and smell it and remember that's the perfume you always wore, and remember that time you sprayed it all over me and it drenched the scarf. I'll never say it's true, but I might have a picture of you stuffed in the front of my diary and whenever I'm feeling shitty I look at it, just to remind myself that if I can survive the pain I felt then, I can survive anything.
Your darling little daughter still cuts herself. Your darling little daughter throws up what she eats. Your darling little daughter sometimes wants to die. Your darling little daughter will fantasize about kissing girls, not boys. Your darling little daughter doesn't agree with you on anything. Your darling little daughter hates you.
I never gave you a chance. I didn't treat you fair. I never have hated you, I don't know why I said I did. I don't know why I didn't hate myself when you started to cry because of me. I don't hate you. I'll never tell anyone this, you will never know this, but Camisha, I don't hate you.
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