[Someday]

So, my Mum is heavily addicted to alcohol, whether she likes it or not. Even if I ask her to not drink for a mere hour, she can't help herself. It's what gets her through the day.

And this I wouldn't find quite such a problem, but when she gets drunk not only does she become a horrible person but she seems to have no true comprehension of what's going on around her... and that's all day, every day atm.

And even then it wouldn't be such an issue, but I woke up this morning to the fire alarm and the smell of gas all over the flat because she had left the gas hob on all night. I asked her why it was on, she just mumbled spaghetti then proceeded to shout at me like usual. That ascended into the usual argument and before long, a neighbour called the police. The police did * all to help the situation(that's the 4th time police have visited, the 3rd time they havn't even bothered finding a solution to the problem at hand).

So, not only now is she a * when she drinks(all the time) but she's dangerous too. Heck, I recall her coming at me with a knife 4 years ago. Why I didn't bring it up to someone at the time I don't know, because 4 years on there's no-one I can turn to for help.

And it's making me angry. I'm emotionally numb, and I have been for a while because of the place my life is in right now. But now I feel such anger I feel like I could... I don't even know what I should finish that sentence on. I'm scared by what I could finish that sentence on.

My life just * sucks. But I won't go on further down that road, as I've already been there before and I don't think there's much I can do for a few years, and there's no further advice I can be given on that front.

Anyway, what should I do? She's going to drink regardless of what I say or do, even if she manages to stay sober and I bring the problem up she just brushes it aside, every single time. She even got a letter from an old persons home before, telling her not to come back in the state she was in. She just said it was rubbish. I tried explaining to her that finally someone else had seen what I see almost every day, but she doesn't care. Or she just cares more about her alcohol than about me. Idk what to do. Help please...