[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by aleolian

Soo here's my question, for guys or girls, What puts you off towards someone, what makes you not want to talk with them, maybe even online?

If they expect me to carry the conversation. I'm often the initiator and can carry or dominate a conversation where needed but if I'm the one initiating 100% of the time or the one carrying it, or attempting to, then I end up giving up on having a conversation at all. A little bit of shy/awkwardness is fine in the beginning, but I'm going to ultimately assume someone doesn't want to talk to me if their answers are pretty much full-stop answers, as in they give me nothing to respond to. I've often found this to be correlated with insecurities etc. but it's unfortunately one of those things that does not encourage me to continue pursuing a friendship or relationship with the person.

Conversely, I don't like someone who comes off too strong or who dominates the conversation themselves. By coming off too strong, I mean someone who's extremely flirty or especially too affectionate too quickly. I don't need to be told how much someone would like to do me during the first or second conversation any more than I need to be told how special I am yadda yadda. It comes off as desperate. And I don't like someone who's constantly on about themselves and respond with one word answers or none at all when I try talking about me.

It's all about a balance, I s'pose? Conversation is about give and take and so is relating to someone. Some people can't read others to save their lives, but that's when you stop looking for the physical cues/body language and start listening to what's being said. It's usually pretty obvious when someone's not returning the same strength or level of conversation that you're putting out there.

This is what puts me off from talking to people both online and IRL. There are other things, sure, but those are the few that prevent me from even giving the other person a chance, really.