[Jaguar]

It takes really understanding people for polyamorism to work. I've been in a couple and it worked ok. Everybody involved has to understand what's going on and be comfortable with it.

One was where, like you, we couldn't be together and we both dated people while we were apart and slept together when we could be together. All partners knew what was going on and were ok with it, but she eventually took up with him and they were happy with each other. Another was with a girl who had broken up with her bf, somebody I knew, and after a while they wanted to sleep together again. Since I loved her but didn't really want to marry her it was ok with me and they eventually got married. I was best man at the wedding. It's not as unusual as you would think and it's sure better than cheating. Surprisingly there wasn't much jealousy among us. We just worked out who would be with who on what weekend.

If you can be ok with it it solves a lot of problems but there's always the possibility that one partner will want to be with the new person exclusively, but that's life. That would happen anyway. Needless to say, it's not for everybody and it takes talking and working things out to make it work. Most people are one person people and I think I am, too, but sometimes things just aren't that simple.