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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
May 11th 2011, 03:13 AM
Second best is good, second best is great, second best is wonderful. But what do I always get? Second best. I'd rather be a complete failure, I'd rather not have the courage to even try because every time I do, where do I end up? Second place, second best! ALWAYS! You know how hard I try, how much work I put into everything I do, you know how after every new second best, it makes it that much harder for me to try again. But I do, every single time. I don't give up. But how much longer can I do this? How many more times can I be told I'm just a smudge away, I'm second best? Ten times? Five times? One? How many times have I been told that I'm close, I just need to put in a little bit more work? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? Lets try a million! Most of those come from you too! Do you not understand that I put everything I've got into what I do, I can't put anymore in!? You know how hard I work, how many extra hours I put in, how hard I get hit every time I'm told I'm only second best. The only thing you don't know is how hard I cry. The only thing you don't know is that when I say there is always next time, the little voice inside of my head is screaming: "GET A GRIP GIRL! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE! THERE ISN'T A NEXT TIME FOR YOU! YOU KNOW THIS!". I know that little voice is right, but I must think that I'm invincible. For six years I've been told to just keep working, just keep trying and I'll get best. Well guess what? I'm as close as I'm ever gonna get. I've put everything I have into what I do, and I don't have anything else to give. Second best isn't good enough, just let me quit. Please, I love it so much, but it only hurts me. Please, just let me quit for once in my life! PLEASE!
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