[FairyPoppins]

It's not that I'm no longer talking to you. Well, I am, but not due to a conscious decision.

I just find you very hard work. You don't listen to advice, you just continue to complain about how shit your life is. When it comes down to it, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT BETTER. You are nearly 30, it's up to you to find your own means of coping.

It's not like I haven't tried to assist you. But dishing out money, whether it's £60 or £6, is not actually helping you, believe it or not, because you are continuing to rely on other people.

You need to get a proper job, even if it's only 2-3 days a week. You need to start prioritising your money - getting off cigarettes and not spending £80 on Ugg boots that are made of fucking WOOL. Don't tell me you have no money for food - what am I supposed to do? Bring you over a sandwich? For a start, you live miles away. Secondly, this aint Meals On Wheels, love.

Sympathy will get you nowhere. Sure, it's nice to know people are thinking of you, but do you really want pity? I wouldn't. If you're hoping that the sympathy will materialise into money, it won't. So stop trying to garner it.

I hate to say it, but over the last year or so I have begun to see things from your ex's point of view. I'm not saying you're selfish, because you're not - you would give anything for your daughter. But when it comes to friends, you seem to lack any sort of concern for them. A simple "How are you?" when we meet would be greatly appreciated. It all seems really one-way, and a relationship has to work both ways. I wouldn't mind giving you money so much, if I got something in return. Anything. Or, if I knew you were spending it on something worthwhile, rather than stupid cigarettes.

So you see, I have tried to be there for you. But these days I am a forward-thinking, progressive person, who tries to see the positives in life and ways to improve my situation. You are a pessimistic, narcissistic, wallower who thrives on complaining and dragging people into your downward spiral. Sure, misery loves company, but I don't want to be that company.

I know how you feel, I've been depressed myself for years. Suicidal at some points. But I realised many things during these times, one of which can be summed up in the following quote from M People:

"You and only you alone, can build a bridge across the stream."

YOU have to be the one to make things change. No one else can do it for you. Similarly, "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." People can give you endless help and support, but if you choose to remain stationary and not aim to move on with your life, you will be forever stuck in this rut. I would hate for that to happen and have to watch you sink lower and lower, but what I would hate even more is to expend my precious time, energy and money, only for you to do exactly the same thing.

I've tried to turn people's lives around for them. At 17 I thought I was a social worker. I tried to change my boyfriend - both his life and his personality. But all that happened was that I became just as twisted and devious as him, with the same mentality of "life owes me a living". It doesn't. We owe ourselves a living.

You owe it to YOURSELF to get your life on track. Chloe will grow up regardless of whether you live in a house or a bedsit, if she wears Primark or Prada. Stop putting her first ALL the time to the neglect of your own needs. If push comes to shove, Chloe has her father. If you can't take care of her, she will have somewhere to go. Who will YOU have? Where will you go if you become bankrupt and lose the house?

You need to think of YOUR future and start putting money aside for a rainy day. Which means getting a job. This might entail Chloe going into a nursery for a day or so - maybe your Mum could have her for one/two days. But so long as you are acquiring money, does it really matter if she has to attend a daycare setting? She will have the chance to socialise and have new experiences with new people... why is that such a bad thing? I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that subconsciously, you don't want Chloe to spend time with strangers because she is yours... and, by your own admission, she's all you've got. But the truth is, at some point, she is going to have other people in her life, so you need to get used to it. Harsh but true.

I wish I had the guts to copy and paste this into a Facebook message, but I think if you were to read it, it would end up doing more harm than good. I want you to feel inspired, feel passionate, angry even. The anger will drive you forwards and stop you from letting things get in your way. You can do anything with determination. But you have to realise that in your own time.