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Originally Posted by shannonashley
A lot of rape cases than don't involve a weapon doesn't mean it's any less scary for the person. Most women are raped by someone they know (close friend, boyfriend, family member...) rather than someone they don't know. A lot of girls fear if they try to say no to someone, that they will end up getting hurt anyway and forced to do, so I think that's why a lot of girls give in. On top of that, for 'not trying to push off and try to leave', sometimes, it's not so easy to do that. The guy could be bigger than she is, and become very dominating and in charge and she wouldn't be able to push him off and just walk out the door like nothing happened.
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I know this has already pretty much been said but let me throw my two cents in as well.
I see where you're going with this but that fear has to come from somewhere. If I get invited around to your house and then don't leave, I can hardly call it a kidnapping. Maybe I was afraid to escape, but why? If you had tried to stop me from leaving or threatened me, then it's reasonable to assume my life may be in danger. If however I just sit there and assume for no good reason that if I tried to leave you would harm me, without even attempting to leave, then is it your fault? No.
I'm not saying that being so scared you can't say anything wouldn't be a terrible, awful thing to go through. I imagine if someone took the time to see how their partner was and if they were okay then this might be avoided, but there is a difference between being inconsiderate and being a rapist.
I can see why going through something like this would be just as bad as rape, so I'm not saying this to question someone's pain. The point is: who can be blamed? Who should be punished? Surely no one can be blamed, especially if you made no indication you wanted to stop or leave. Doesn't mean it's not a terrible experience and awful misunderstanding, but unless the guy is psychic it's not his fault he didn't hear you think stop.
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Originally Posted by shannonashley
As for some of the scenarios you brought up, the hand on the leg thing isn't rape but it's harrassment, as is the second one about the friend wanting to have sex. If someone puts his hand on your leg and it's not wanted, then that constitutes, in my opinoin, as sexual harrassment. The second one does as well. She was technically forced to do something she didn't want to do only because she was being pressured into it. As for the third one, I think it does constitute as some form of rape. If there wasn't any intercourse involved, then it's not a big thing. If however, there was, then yes, I do think it does.
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I didn't want to be explicit but all the scenarios would lead to sex/rape, sorry if that was unclear. It's funny, the second scenario is the one I'd least call rape, but has twice been mentioned as the worst. Surely if we consider talking/convincing/begging someone into/for sex rape, then every boyfriend and husband in the history of time is a rapist.
To have someone (at a party, for example) saying "please, please, come on, you'll enjoy it." and then for the person to finally think "Alright, let's get it over with"... to me that is nothing at all like rape. If you just did it because he convinced you, or you changed your mind, then it isn't rape. If you were scared and thought you had to, then again, was there a reasonable threat there, or did you assume without even trying to leave?