[Just Peachy.]

Hey there,

When you are recovering from an addiction (and yes, Bulimia is addicting), people will often times have relapses. And they do occur when we are at low points. So it's quite normal that you are feeling this way. However, I am glad that you are working on recovery. That shows a lot of strength, and proves that you have the strength within yourself to get through urges in a healthy way. It's going to be hard, but you have the capability to do it.

I think when you get to the point of wanting to purge, and knowing that it's wrong--you need to take a step further and consider how you are going to feel after the fact. You know you're going to feel guilty/bad, because as you said: It's a cycle. Cycles can be broken. But another thing that you can do is try to distract yourself by doing stimulating/relaxing/fun activities. With each time that you don't give into an urge, it's going to be easier for the next time.

Binging and purging is just another form of Self Harm. It's a way of coping with depression, stress, negative feelings, etc. No self harm is good. Fortunately, there is a thread with Self Harm alternative right here. There are tons of alternatives on here. One is bound to work. :]

Also, when you are feeling like you want to binge and purge, call an Eating Disorder hotline. They can help talk you through it, and can potentially make you feel loads better. Here is a link for hotlines you can call: Hotline List

I hope this helped!
Take care,
-Lynds