[Hopeful(?)]

I've really gotten a control over my bulimia, but every now and again I'll relapse. I think I've said this in some previous topic, but I've been a bulimic for 5 years. I think maybe two months ago, I stopped cold turkey. It actually went really well for me -- because I stopped my bulimia, I began to lose a little weight (which was a good thing, my bulimia always makes me gain weight).

But every now and again, especially when I have bad days, I find the desire to purge comes back. I'll come home from school, and just eat A LOT of food. Then, of course, I feel horrible for doing it, and throw up. My biggest problem is that right before I purge, I know what I'm about to do. I can think to myself and tell myself that it wont be good if you eat a lot of food. But then I convince myself that it wont be that bad -- that once in a while of eating a lot wont hurt me. So then I eat a lot. And then I throw up. And then I feel like crap for relapsing. It's just not a good cycle.

This has happened maybe four or five times over the two months, and they each last maybe two days. But my question is how do you guys stop yourselves from purging? I know what I'm about to do is bad, but then I always manage to convince myself that it wont be too bad.