[Euphoria]

Can you not look at me and see the pain I'm in? Can you not see the damage you have caused me? You have caused me to hurt myself. To use SH to release all the pain and hurt you have brought upon me.

Can you not hear me? Do you not understand me when I try and tell you what you are doing to me? Obviously not. Cause you are still doing it. You won't hear me whn I tell you the hurt the stress the pressure you cause me. And when I tell you I want to go back into therapy you blow me off.

Can you not realize where you're leading me? Do you not understand
You are only drawing me farther away? You can't let me grow up. You can't let go. You think you have tight restrains on me but you really don't. You are only drawing me farther away and causing me to move out sooner than planned.

The words you say hurt. They leave permanent scars. I should be able to go to my mom and talk to her. tell her everything. Trust her. Love her. Want to be around her. But unfortunately I have no idea what that feels like. What it's like to have a mom like that. Fortunatately I have adult figures in my life that I can have relationships like that with. And I'm lucky for that.

I amscared to come talk to you. You're judging. Mean. Hurtful. Non understanding. Cruel. And just not the person I can talk to. When I do have to though trust me. I have anxiety attacks and pain and panic rushing through my body like crazy. It's not healthy I know that. But I can't help it.

This is what your done to me. And this is why I can't live with you anymore. If I do, I'm gonna relapse. And it's not going to be pretty.