Right now I'm guessing you have an EDNOS which basically means you've got a disorder in your eating habits but it doesn't fit anorexia or bulimia. First thing to do would be trying to shift your focus onto other non-aesthetic areas of your life, which is most of your life. Looks are not important enough that you should be crying over them. I bet you don't pick your friends by how they look. I bet you don't love your family for how they look. I bet you don't hate the people you hate for how they look. Most jobs are not about looks. There is no box for pretty or not pretty on a college application. That being said, you actually are really pretty. But that's not all you are or all you should strive to be. Think about how an
ED (which will progress into something more detrimental if you let it) will affect your life. They take up all your focus. They take away all your energy. They make you paranoid about hiding it. They mess you up. Don't let them. Sometimes when I feel I'm being too obsessive with my figure I'll write this on the mirror "There's more to life than 'skinny.' My weight does not define me." Lame I know but it helps some.