[bitesize]

I feel so angry at you all because I feel like you've abandoned me. I can't call you my best friends anymore. Not because I'm annoyed...I mean I really can't. We're barely even friends. I'm so lonely. I'm so lonely. I'm so, so lonely, and I've been so unhappy over the past nearly six months and I feel like if we were friends some of you would have noticed by now, not that I'm not trying to hide it from people.

I don't trust you anymore. I can't come to any of you for advice. I don't feel like I can tell you things. I want new friends, but my loneliness is making me cling to you, and you're just not there for me, none of you are.

-Why didn't you tell us you were going back to Edinburgh?? You just left?? Yes it probably just slipped your mind, but that's the hurtful thing. We still wanted to see you, to do things with you. I wanted to plan to come over and see you in February or March, partly to give myself something to actally look forward to, but now I'm really upset that you did that.

- You're just irritating me. I used to think of us as best friends, but ever since you neglected to tell me you'd gotten a new job...I realised you don't actually go out of your way to keep up with me anymore. So pride began to stop me from doing the same with you. Also, you're pretentious, and that pisses me off completely. It makes me not want to be around you, and it's why I've been avoiding you, even though that jst makes me lonelier. I'm jealous of you, yes, but even so I wish you knew when to shut up about yourself and your achievements. AND your boyfriend. All I hear these days is Ciaran, Ciaran, Ciaran, and obviously I'm happy that you're happy, it goes without saying, but it's all I hear about. I'm in love, but I don't talk about it 24/7 to my friends. (Partly because I never see my friends any more.)

-You just don't keep in touch and it makes me sad. Yes you have all your hometown friends but it bothers me that I just don't seem to be part of your life anymore.

-You've dropped off the face of the earth since you got a girlfriend. I've seen you maybe five times this year?? Two times you came out only because you'd had a fight with her. I just miss you.

-I know we said they never would, but things have changed. It's not your fault, but it makes me sad that our lives are so different now.