[kitkat_kate]

Hey. I can relate to some degree. For me, my self-injury became so much of an addiction that I would cut whenever. When I had some free time, when I was bored, when I was elated. It became the only way to handle almost any emotion.

It kept me calm, almost. Made those good moments feel more realistic. I also found it as a form of punishment. If I didn't think I should be happy, I might harm just to punish myself. But that stems from a long way back.

I don't know if that helps any, but you are definitely not alone.