[savealife723]

i'm trying so hard to be someone that you'll miss.
but it never seems like enough for you.
i just want you back.
and it hurts.
when you hugged me today, and didn't let go,
i can't explain how i felt.
it felt just like back then when we were together and you would hold me in your arms for hours.
the way you'd kiss my forehead, and tickle my sides.
how you'd sing me to sleep, or tell me a bedtime story everynight over the phone.
i miss looking out my window and knowing that even though you were all the way across town, we were both looking at the same star at the same time.
i sometimes wonder if you still search for that star, and ever think of me.
do you ever miss me?
i wish that i could tell you that i'd do anything to be with you again.
i'd drop everything i have right now just to be with you again.
whenever boys come along, i always compare them to you without even realizing it,
and they never compare to you. not even close.
i miss how we'd walk to the park and lay undert the slides.
you'd play with my hair, and we'd laugh at the cloud shapes we would find.
the way that we would play videogames together and watch movies.
how you told me that even when you slept alone, you had to hold something close to you wishing that it was me.
i miss everything about you, and even after you broke me down and messed me up, i will always still love you.

i miss our conversations. our laughter, how it was perfectly in tune with one another's. how we would talk for hours about anything possible. how we would stay up much too late and both end up getting in trouble for being on the phone for so long. how we would walk together, and i knew that i was safe next to you. i wish that you knew i never feel safe without you anymore. i always feel like he'll come back for me, and come get me. i feel like he's after me. i was never worried about that when i was with you because i knew that you would never let anything happen to me. as time went by though, we grew apart and you left me out in the cold. after everything, i wouldn't take any of it back except for you walking away. maybe you were right, and we weren't meant to be, but i still believe with everything i have left inside of me that we are. it wasn't just a relationship that started, and ended. it was a committment that we were both one hundred percent committed to.

i miss you, and i wish that i could be with you again.
i wish that i could wake up knowing that i'm yours, instead of waking up knowing that it's another day without you. nine months have passed and it just gets harder and harder everyday. especially lately. i miss you so much lately, and everything is coming back to me slowly. the promises, the secrets, the love.

i still love you.