[mae_kas]

You know? I don't regret breaking up with you, even if I do feel guilty as hell. I know you loved me and that you were serious about us, is not even that I wasn't. But your love was suffocating. Way to much. You had lots of casttles in the air about us and about me. Even when I told you, cause I told you more than once that I wasn't as good. You burned out my love with yours. You didn't trust me but expected me to trust you. And I couldn't trust you. Because you never saw me, cause all you wanted to do was to do what I wanted, even when I wanted to try to do things for you. You never told me off, you never got angry, and I know most people would say that nice or sweet or whatever. But that does not work for me. I need people to tell me when I mess up not have an unworldy faith that I'll be fine. it does not work like that.

That was the most important. You neverr understood even if you tried to. The thing was you didn't have to. You didn't have to abide to my views but you tried. I didn't want you to. I like discucion exchange. that's the best way to support me. Give me space but not to much, listen t o me but talk me back. you never expressed opinion. You never really told me anything. and I tried- even if I made lots of mistakes I still it's for the better. We had our good times. but it wasn't strong enough. It broke .

and so I broke up with you becasue I didn't love you as much anymore. and I can't friends with you. your feelings are too strong, too obvious. they still suffocate me your over-trying to fix things up are too planned it annoys me, because it's like you're trying to manipulate me back and I don't want. Because your hopes get too up to easily and I will hurt you if you keep it. And you keep it. It really angered me, what you did that day, coming around the day you knew I was expecting Emilia cause you know I've got a soft spot for her. That you read our plurks , they were public alright, but you used that knowledge because you knew, and so you came when I'd had told you I did't want to talk to you or see you until march or later . You did.

And I don't care if I still feel guilty. I don't think I'm ever trusting you ever. And it'd be best if you stop trying to aproach me after that one it won't work.