[amystery]

I wish you trusted me enough as you always claim to. Sometimes we have to make our own decisions and make our own mistakes in life. You can't always protect me from everything so can you just trust me for once were when I say that this is what I want to do? Failing my term paper and honestly being scared that I may not pass my psychology class has taught me a few things. University might not be the place for me right now. I don't want to be here...well that's not true..I want to be here because I don't want to fail I don't want to disappoint you, myself and the other people around me. I know that if I dropped out now or moved back home it'd be like I failed in my eyes and in the eyes of everyone around me. I know you'd understand or you say you would but I can't help but think you'd never really get it. That is part of why I need this. I know that places like Thailand and South Africa aren't the safest prats of the world...I know that...but I want to go more than you can imagine. I just wish I had your approval to do so. I don't want your financial support I don't want anything from you but your trust and understanding. I want you to let me make my own choices...fall...makes mistakes...find what I want to do and what make me happy in life...I honestly think this volunteer project would do just that for me. I'd be half way around the world for 2-4 wks. I'd be experiencing a culture in a way I've only ever dreamed of and I'd be helping people. I'd be volunteering and making a difference in the world. I want to make a difference in someone's life...I don't just mean by cheering them up when they're sad. I want to do something that matters. I want to truly do whatever I can to make someone's life better. This volunteer project would allow me to do that. I know you probably think I'm on crack...and maybe I am a little bit haha but this is what I want to do and you've got to let me