[*Rainbow*Rider*]

I squeeze my eyes tight and try to imagine you're in my arms again, I smell your old body spray and hope for some spark to bring you back here. I wish every night that I dream of you and I never do any-more. I drive myself crazy thinking I've forgotten your voice and then it comes to me, echoing. I stare at photos of you and swear you never quite look right in them. Inside I'm screaming. I rest my chin on tables and imagine its your soft hair underneath. I sit up and sob every night, preying to something that the pain will ease, and as soon as it does I feel wrong, guilty, awful.
Its like the only bit of you I have left is the unbelievable greif and anguish. Its a feeling, a strong powerful thing that sweeps through me. Its stronger than anything, and it has presence. And for some reason, I'd prefer to keep that around then nothing at all.

I love you, so very very very much. I miss you, so much more than I can say. I used to love words until you left. Not one of them does how I feel any justice.

Same as always sweetheart, feel free to come in to my dream tonight.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3