Hi, I feel sort of weird talking about this just because I was in denial for so long. But, here it goes-
I started drinking just when summer was ending. The thing is, the stuff I drink is about as strong as alcohol can get. It tastes disgusting, and you are NOT supposed to chug it. Which, I do. & I started drinking when I was very upset over a breakup with a guy that I dated for two years. Which may not seem like a long time, but it sure felt like it. I NEVER used to drink, or smoke (cigarettes or hash/marijuana). I suppose I started a week after the break up. My older brother introduced me to marijuana & hash, and the alcohol came later. When the break-up started to hit me hard, which was when I came back from summer vacation and realized things were REALLY over- I started drinking. & of course I'd make a drunken fool out of myself and call him crying. The drinking has gotten considerably worse, however I don't call him anymore and I'm trying to move on. I started dating someone else and he really really cares about me which makes me feel considerably lucky to have found someone who really does care. However, of course he's very dead set about me quitting drinking, he's noticing things are starting to get worse. Last night I went to a party and drank so much that I fell and ended up bruised and bleeding. I made a complete fool out of myself, but I don't know why I still feel like it isn't a big deal, and that I shouldn't quit? I mean for so long I was in complete denial and didn't think I had a problem, but everyone is starting to notice it getting worse. & someone asked me if what happened last night was a "wake up call", and honestly I don't think it is. As bad as it was, but I honestly want to quit but don't at the same time. & I'm stuck because I don't know what to do, or even where to start.
help?