[soulfulseductress]

i dont think you'll ever understand why i couldnt be with you.... why i didnt want to be with you. why ill never want to be with you. you knew i was drunk from the minute you laid eyes on me and the first time we danced confirmed your suspicions... but you still pursued me. my friend tried to pull me away. she asked you to go away. you didnt. i laughed and stayed. she tried to pull me. you pulled me back.. she was drunk too so eventually she got distracted nd gave up. you snuck me away. you touched me. i told you i needed to leave. you told me to stay. i was drunk. i tried to walk away. you kept calling me back. you kept touching me. my ability to reason had already escaped me. there was no way i could resist the temptation and you knew this. and you tempted me and succeeded. you got me into a hotel room. and... you.... we..... had sex and i call it rape because i wasnt there... only my body was... my mind was somewhere else... i dont even remember the whole thing. only bits and pieces... and thank god i had my period. i dont even know if you used a condom. thats how drunk i was. and i was a VIRGIN. you took that away from me. or maybe i gave it to you because i was pissy drunk but you weren't and you should have known better. and i should have never gotten drunk but you werent and you knew what you were doing and you did it anyways and i told you i was a virgin and you did it anyways and i told you i needed to go back and you did it anyways and then the next day you called nd txted nd kept on callin/textin for days, weeks, and i told you i didn want to talk to you and tried to explain nd you couldnt understand. you said you wanted to help me but how could you when you're the one that hurt me. and you dont even understand what i lost and how important it was and you dont care. and now im not a virgin nd i was i was sooo bad. i wish i could be a virgin again. and even if i lie to people and say i am. i know the truth.