[lanegwyn]

You bastard. Is that an enticing opening? Is it clever? I'd finally felt good about something, and I'd even thought maybe you liked me. That puts you in very... uncrowded company. You're entitled to dislike me, and think I'm a bitch (but... how you could claim to know me well enough to form that judgment is mysterious) but who talks that way to a student? What sort of person goes out of his way to say something cruel to a teenage girl (not that we're especially fragile, just that our age difference is significant and matters) in order to express disgust and cause her a paroxysm of self-loathing and pain?
What, am I doing it again? This is what it sounds like when I write. I'm not a bitch, I just write very very very awkwardly. I'd think it would be your job, as a teacher, to help me improve instead of to form harsh judgments about my personality.

EDIT: Ahhhh! OMFG I just spotted a flaw in your otherwise perfect teaching-ness. (And I freely admit, you're a fucking great teacher, even with your persistent use of elaborate metaphors). If the essay made me sound like a bitch. That's something you should have (reworded and then) told me. It's an important insight. You've failed in helping me to write the best college essay I can. Your critique said nothing about coming off as haughty or full of it or stuck-up.
What, am I turning this around on you? YES I AM BECAUSE YOU'RE A BASTARD. It's either this public display of angst or cutting, kiddo, and I need to save my skin for when the colleges reject me.