[herecomesthesun]

I hate that you say you love me. I hate your face. I hate your body and you ignite anger in me every time I see you. I want you to go away. I hate how you try to get inside my head and make it all better. Fuck that. I'm not going to talk to you like this. All I wanted was the alcohol and now you can't even supply. Fuck.

And you. You are so perfect. I hate your gf. I hate her name, face, and every time you mention her it kills me inside. I want more than just a head pat. I want you in my arms, my bed, on my lips. I can't help but want you so badly. I need you like sadness. You make me so sad and yet I feed off of it. It's like another self destructive habit that I just can't live without. I hope someday you break it off with her and realize that normal is boring, and that I can be so much more. I can fix all of this if you give me a reason. Until you do, I'll just continue to be this mess that I don't want to fix nor wants anyone to fix. I'm sure she doesn't know the half of this. Too bad.