[callmesunny]

i have many, i just need to get them out of my system
1. dear brother, i miss you so much.. more than you know. i wish you would leave her. she's no good for you and your family loves you, she changes you... don't forget about me ):

2. dear boy, everytime i think of you i get the biggest smile. i can picture exactly how things would be if we just took a chance at this, maybe it's not meant to be, but we'll never know until we try! i am so crazy about you... i wish you could just tell me!

3. dear not-stepmom, please pack your shit and get the hell out of my dad's house before i kill you. you ruined EVERYTHING. somehow, things with my mom and i worked out great, but things have only gotten worse with my dad, especially since you moved in. you know, he actually used to care about his kids, and i used to like you, but things don't always work out the way you wish they would. since you moved in, it was like he was performing open heart surgery to sign the student loan for my brothers college education, and you became this insensitive bitch who doesn't care about anything that doesnt directly benefit YOU. you think you're this awesome person because you've traveled here or there. yeah, you have your cool moments. i dont like hating people, but i hate you because you ruined any chance i had at a good relationship with my own fucking dad, so thanks a lot. please just leave! i want my dad back, not this asshole you've made him into...

4. dear ex 1, i wish i could say i don't remember anything, but i remember everything. i gave you everything and you snatched it up as quick as you could and ran away with it. thinking in retrospect, our relationship was something i was sort of put into and then i fell in love with you, and i did love you with every part of me. i don't know if i'll ever know for sure if you loved me or not, or if you just loved what i represented, or loved what you could get from me. you ripped my heart straight out of my chest. you were everything to me. but to be honest, i'm glad you did it. if you hadn't i wouldn't have grown up. i would have stayed that same fantasy-driven child i was when we met, i wouldnt have had all these amazing experiences. i do miss you though, i miss the conversations we had, the way i could tell you anything. oh, also, if i ever find ANYTHING about me on the internet from you, (you know exactly what i'm talking about) i will personally castrate you, just so you know, please dont, i did that because i loved you and i trusted you, and now i wish i hadn't, but i can't take it back now. i know someday you're gonna make an amazing father.

5. dear ex 2, ohhh you. i can't forget you. you were the one that was supposed to make everything better, the one that promised me you would never do what he did, you promised me a great man. you are such a bitch. you don't even deserve a masculine name, you just deserve bitch. you are a compulsive liar and its really annoying, you think you're soo cool because you can play the guitar and you have nice hair, but you're just an asshole. you're arrogant, self-righteous, and you don't even know who you are. i know you think i didn't notice it all year, but i saw everytime you were looking at me, sometimes in wonder and sometimes in disgust, but what happened was ALL your fault. i said sorry, yeah, because i am sorry for my part of it, but you apologized after everything was all said and done, you promised that things would be better between us and then you're too good to be near me? and your girlfriend, don't even get me started on her. she seemed like a nice girl, until your sister told me she hated me because i had sex with you first, which, might i add, i regret with my whole being because a) it hurt like hell, b) you couldn't go more than 4.5 minutes without blowing your load, and c) thats all you wanted anyways! i dont think you know how much i wish i hadn't dated you, i could still have this nice image of "cute, sweet boy", not "compulsive liar, bad at sex, dickwad, immature, arrogant PRICK boy" I wish i could say i did love you, i thought i did, but i know i didn't. i loved the way you treated me in comparison to ex 1, but it was all a huge act, and i have to wonder when you started acting. UGH, i forgive you, i just wish you could stand up and be a man about it for once and sincerely be sorry for everything you did, and own up to it.

wow, that felt great (: