[xxCookiiexMonsterxx]

I still miss that person so much; it just feels like she was the only person in the world who actually heard me and cared.. even though she was being paid for it.. I know that should make the difference but tbh there isn't really anyone to compare to && since I've been in adult services I've realised how genuine that care was because just because there paid to do it doesn't always mean that they will.

I want to die so much but I'm scared doing anything now will set back mum's recovery. I don't want it to be my fault when things go wrong.

I'm scared that despite all our efforts she's going to die soon anyway, the Dr's can say what they like, if your body's trying to give up there's nothing you can do.. How many chances has she already used, how long does she have left?!