[escape_thereal_world]

I call you Dad, I do love you, I remember your b-day and father's day...but they're never happy days. When someone mentions "dad" I don't think of you. I don't think of anyone. I think about that blank space I have in my memory without a father. I've never had one. Not even a stepdad. I've grown up without any men in my life. So i crave attention from them. I don't trust them though, and I "KNOW" they're going to leave.

Before I met Jeff, I imagined me having kids but no husband. You're in and out of my life and soon enough I'm going to tell you to pick one. And if you do choose to stay in, but don't...I'm cutting ties, because I can't continue this emotional rollercoaster with you dad. I love you...I miss you every day. I miss when i was little and you actually cared about me...took me driving, made munchies, made us a train set which you then destryoed...I was daddy's little girl, and I wish I could still be, but you won't let me.

Come back daddy...your little one wants you.