[PlayingPretend]

Eh, I see getting intoxicated beforehand having very adverse affects. There's a lot that could go wrong such as not being as in tune to her needs (if she tells you to go slower, to be more gentle, etc. etc.) or even not being able to achieve an erection at all (I've heard of this happening); depending on how intoxicated you are, judgment could be impaired and you could miss bits and pieces of the night. I honestly don't see getting drunk or high as the answer. Besides, if I were in her shoes, well, safe to say I wouldn't hook up with anyone who'd been drinking or smoking, simply because that'd be very unpleasant and quite a turn-off for me. Not only that but drunken sex turns out to be sloppy and not anything I'd want for a first time.

Honestly, all I can tell you is to try again. You might not get it right the first or even first couple of times but that's okay. No one's expecting you to be a pro at it your first time, but this is honestly the reason to have sex with someone, I'd personally need to be sure I could trust that person 100%. Having that trust would personally allow me to relax around that person. I'd remind myself that we're both in it for fun, we're both in it to learn about each other and learn from each other, and neither they nor I would be an immediate pro. The best thing you can do is try and stop worrying so much about how you're performing and let her tell you. For example, if she's enjoying something, keep doing it. If she seemed to enjoy something else better, try something new. And so on and so forth. It's a learning experience, it is for both of you, so don't be ashamed of whatever happens. I would say keep trying until it feels right. Learn what works for both of you. Help her out if she needs it, let her help you out if you need it etc. etc.