[Ess The Morgenstern *]

I think this song is pretty much what I'm going through now:

Emigrate- In My Tears

My sickness slips inside you
Drowns in my poison
Desperately I hide too from heaven
Now we’ll be together
I can make you better
Siphon your pain in me, so I bleed
Feed your dreams to fishes
Lie about your wishes
Eat away at your time, seconds are mine
Sometimes it seems we’re toxic
Wake me up and shock it
My low self-esteem
Can make me scream
In my tears
Don’t let me drown
My fears
Don’t make a sound
My tears
Don’t break me down
In my tears
Don’t let me drown
It’s only my psychosis
Feeling thorns of roses
Fill the void inside me
So you see
Feed me tranquilizers
Calm the storm inside us
It’s so perverse to say
That I’m blind
In my tears
Don’t let me drown
My fears
Don’t make a sound
My tears
Don’t break me down
In my tears
Don’t let me drown

It's, somehow, two parts of you, one of them wants you to be better and you'll never realize you're more than good just as you are and on the other hand you're screaming for help, that's what this song means to me and I can't find out any better way to show my feelings since I'm more likely a cawliflower or any vegetable than an human being so that I never talk about my emotions.
I'm on recovery from BN and it's really getting hard