[Ngikhona]

Hey Markus.

I think it's really good that you've put so much thought into why you're drinking and realizing things are out of control.

There are a couple of things that I think are essential for you to do to try to sort out your drinking problem: tell your parents clearly what's going on, find a counselor who works with people struggling from alcohol addictions, and consider a group counseling program for people with alcohol problems.

It sounds like your parents know you've been drinking a lot, but may not exactly understand the logistics. I think that if you told them and were more open with them about it, they'd be a really great support system and could help you a ton with your recovery.

Counseling I believe would also be a good idea in an individual and group setting for both your feelings of depression and drinking problems. In counseling you'll learn to deal with the mental aspect of drinking, learn how to handle all that, and figure out how you can make yourself more talkative and such without using any substances.

Since you mainly said you don't know where to start and who to go to, I just gave some general ideas for that. If you're unsure of how to tell your parents or how to get counseling or anything, feel free to say so in this thread or PM me.