[xxCookiiexMonsterxx]

I LOVE you, more then anything, more then words could ever explain, your amazing, you've made my life since I've known you easier, and I feel terrible that despite all that I'm still planning to leave you alone, without me, I only lasted this long because of you, and I wish every day that I could keep it going that way, but you cant take away my pain, people say, 'it's been such a long time' but to be honest, it actually hasnt. Everyone wants to know why I dont go and see my family, because whilst I'm down there I mostly bump into him and he hurts me, again and again..

I never told, due to the agreement I made with him. Wrong I know, but he promised never to touch my sisters if I didnt tell, I dont have the heart to risk them in such a way, he can continue ruining my life but I wont let him have theres.

But I still want to die, I have everything I need, I just hope its all enough, I'm sorry, I dont expect to be forgiven, but I'd like it if I could be.

Despite us falling out for a while, things are great, I'll be honest, when we first became friends again I wasnt sure if I'd ever trust you again, but it all feels amazing, just like you never left my life.