[Megumi]

I am 16 years old and I live in Canada with my mum and older sister, and my brothers live in Scotland with my dad, his girlfriend, and her 2 daughters. She has said on many occasions that she does not want another child, and that her other kids weren't planned (she has her oldest when she was 17, and was on b/c with her second), but now that my dad is having doubts about the relationship, she got herself pregnant by going off her b/c so that my dad will stay. I found out on Saturday that she is pregnant, and I don't know what to think.

Firstly, I was kind of happy because I've wanted a baby brother or sister since my youngest brother was about 4 (he's 12 now).

Then secondly I felt sad because for the last few months I was living in Scotland she didn't talk to me and did everything she could to try turn my dad against me, so I probably won't get to know my new sibling.

Next, I felt really angry because she's selfishly bringing a child into the world that she doesn't even want. My dad is nearly 40 and done with having kids, and my mum got pregnant 6 years ago and miscarried at 5 months, and she really wanted another child, and it made her have a full nervous breakdown, and she's only just gotten back to "normal."

But mostly I feel jealous...firstly because me and my dad are drifting further apart, and we've always been very close, but mainly because I so desperately want a baby of my own.

What do I do? I want to know my new sibling, but I don't see how that's going to be possible.