[SpaceSailor]

I've got no idea what to do. My period has been 2 weeks late so I went to the doctors today and she confirmed that I'm pregnant. The guy was just a fling, I was drunk and he told me he had put a condom on, it was dark, but I'm guessing he didn't.

My first thought was, I have to abort, but I don't know now.. I feel like I will regret it. You see.. I dropped out of school a few years ago and I have just been doing courses at tafe, right now I am doing ceramics. But what if this child gives some purpose to my life? I start thinking about the fact that there is a being starting to grow inside of me, and maybe this mistake is meant to be?

I've been living in youth refuges for a few years now and I have pretty much no contact with my own parents. I am 40 hours off getting my drivers license (I have completed 80 so far) and I am beginning to think that I should move out and rent my own 2 bedroom place when the baby is born.

Don't get me wrong... Money isn't my first priority, living and caring for this child would be, but I need money to do that in this world, so I have done some calculations.

For the first 2 / 3 years I would be caring for and showing my baby the world depending on parenting allowance and rent assistance from the government to support us.

Parenting allowance is $300 a week and Rent assistace is $50 a week and the Baby Bonus would give me roughly $30 a week.
So that is $380 a week.
Rent in Byron Bay for a 2 bedroom place is at its cheapest (but not doggiest) is $250. That leaves $130 to live off a week. Food I'm guessing for 2 people is $50 a week, travel (to get food + outings with baby) around $30 a week, and fun stuff (renting movies, internet, etc.) $20 a week. That leaves $30 to save each week for bills like electricity and emergencies.

When the baby is 2-3 I could sent baby to a preschool (Around $20 for the day) two days a week and I get myself a part time job to help our financial situation.

When baby is 5-6 baby will be at school 5 days a week. I can continue my part time job and start part time study to further my education and socialize.

I don't know if I'm being too idealistic though. I would love to have this baby if I could make it work. My life has been tough before, and I believe myself to be a strong woman. I just don't want to be making a mistake. I know that things don't always go to plan... for example..

I have thoughts like, what if this child ends up being mentally retarded or something? Could I cope with that? Plus I did weed socially the other day, the guy who I fucked a few weeks ago was on acid, I have been around tobacco smokers a lot lately and I have not had a healthy diet lately (mostly relying on toast to full my tummy), which all has to stop if baby is to grow, but my concern is, could all this affect how baby develops when it is only a few weeks into the pregnancy?

I have even begun to catch myself thinking of baby names which worries me for I don't know what to do.

Teenage mums, people who have had abortions, the average joe...
Please give me your 2c.