[xxpaigiexx]

You've almost come to a decision... what do you think I am... I'm not going to be waiting around forever. I really like you and I wish you could see how simple it actually is. I was complicating things and now you're doing the same. You showed me how simple it really was but now you're confusing everything up. I know what I did was not the right thing and I know you felt like I lead you on and I messed you around but I've apologised for all of that and I know how much in the wrong I was but there's only so many times you can apologise, I just want everything to be right with us again. I fucked up, I know that but you mean more to me that he does and I thought by cutting it all off I was proving that to you and I thought that was what you wanted because it seemed that way to me. You scream and shout and make a scene about me messing you around but now you're doing exactly the same thing so that makes you almost as bad as me. I know I did wrong and yes I cheated, but... it felt right and I wish it hadn't. If he had paid me more attention as much as I tell myself it would have been different, it wouldn't have been because honestly if I had the chance to do everything over again I would do exactly the same because you mean so much to me. Me and you. No we're not conventional, the way we show affection towards each other is different, we're different and that's what I like! I already love you as a friend and I guess that would make loving you in a deeper way so much easier. You're the only person I feel this way about and because we're such good friends it makes it so much easier for me to put the way I feel out there. I love the level of honestly and trust we have. Even my close girl friends, I don't have that trust with them, because you don't judge, where as they do. Even if you don't understand me rarely you will question me. Right now I'm stuck and you're the only person who can make the choice. I've laid the cards on the table and unfortunately it's not just up to me and I'm not going to push you into a decision but I'm also not going to spend my time crying and waiting around for you, this is emotionally tiring and I just need to know where I'm at because I'm pushing people, people that could be good for me away because of you. All of this is because of you and how much you mean.
Balls in your court babe, that's the scary thing.