[TheNumber42]

You really don't understand, do you? Do you think this is okay? I want my kids to know their grandma, but I honestly see that slipping away. There is a huge part of of that wants to say 'fuck it' and leave. I kind of want to go really far away and never come back. I'm just so fucking tired of being treated like this. Can you not see what this is doing to us? Can you not try to understand? You know, even if you respected me enough not to beat around the bush and give of a bunch of contradictory bullshit when it's obvious what your real motivation is, that would help so much. I'm not going to pretend that I'm totally innocent here, but you're the fucking adult, act like it. I can hardly keep myself together, you can't expect me to work on this. I sent you the link, use it. I don't want to lose you, but I'm just not strong enough to fix this. I don't want to give up, but the way things are, I'm not sure I can hold on to this. I'm done, I'm almost ready to move on. Don't let me go.