[alexa]

i can choose to not talk to him or about him. i can choose to look away when i see him. i can choose to not get hugs from him or look at his facebook. i can choose to walk certain ways to class so that i won't pass him. but none of that fucking matters, because i can't choose not to think about him. i can force myself to stay as far away as possible, but i can't force myself to forget. so what's the point? everyone says to get over someone you should try to stay away from them. like it's that easy. it's like, you can't breathe and there's a giant container of oxygen (that just so happens to be drop-dead gorgeous) walking right by you, and you have to choose to not go and get it, to stay put, and not watch it as it goes. then you have to try to ignore how bad it hurts, and pretend it's all for the best.
i can convince others that i'm over him, but i can't lie that well to myself.