[FlyingTrue]

I know it hurts that you were forced into this situation. But, you should try not to make yourself feel guilty about tearing your family apart by reporting what happened to you. You were not at fault, the cousin was for taking advantage of you. It is his action that would be the cause of this. What he did was wrong and he needs to be punished through the legal system.

Part of what you are going through is that you are trying to keep this to yourself, it is a painful internal torment. Once you let it out, some of this should stop, it will be a great reprieve to you. Tell your parents, they will be there for you, not against you. Personally if you don't feel comfortable telling them, I would suggest going to law enforcement and pressing charges. Let them tell your family what happened. Going to police would make you feel a lot better because you know that he will be held responsible for what he did.

Best wishes.