Thread: Scared of what the doctor might tell me
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Elle
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Name: Elle
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Location: Newcastle

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Join Date: February 6th 2010
Scared of what the doctor might tell me - February 15th 2010, 10:27 PM
I was diagnosed with depression 10 years ago and have been in and out of therapy since.

When I started university I just wanted a new life. I wanted to be happy. I don't want to sound melodramatic but I just wanted to be normal. No anti depressants, no weekly visit to the psychiatrist and psychologist etc.

And I was happy for a while. I came off my anti depressants and so there was like a month or so a year and a half ago where I struggled with my depression. But for a long time I was really enjoying myself. My social life was amazing, my university work was going well.

But since my second year has started I've been on a rollarcoaster. My mum has bipolar and if I'm honest with you I think I may be suffering from it. I know I could just go to the doctor but I'm scared they'll say that I have bipolar. I don't want to be the freak with the mental illness (no offence, it's just how I would be scared I'd be labelled). At the same time if I go along and they say it's not bipolar and just your standard run of the mill mood swings and depression then it's likely I'll be put back into therapy or back onto anti depressants.

I don't want to be a part of the mental illness cycle. My mum is, my dad is.. I can't be like them :/