[charmbraceletxo]

The circumstances [financially, etc., etc.] are such that I cannot and will not allow myself to become pregnant any time soon...however, for whatever reason, I fantasize about having my boyfriend's baby ALL the time...so much in fact that it consumes my thoughts prior to falling asleep each night. We've had a couple pregnancy scares--which were just that: scares...yet, as sick, twisted, and seemingly deceitful as this sounds, a small part of me was disappointed upon discovering that I wasn't pregnant. If I weren't together with my boyfriend, I must say, I wouldn't covet a pregnancy nearly as much as I do now...I, most likely, wouldn't even think twice about it...but because I'm so deeply in love with my boyfriend, I can't help but to dream about and desire creating a baby with him. We're both far too young to even consider the idea, seeing as how we have aspirations of acquiring financial success, etc., etc. [however, we do discuss our future together--so I'm sure I'll eventually be the mother of his children], but for the time being, this is rather mind boggling. Whenever we have sex, he never cums inside of me [obviously as means of contraception], but I'm always tempted to wipe his cum off of my belly and insert it inside of me. I would NEVER do that, seeing as how that's pretty cruel and manipulative...but nevertheless, the thought has crossed my mind. Whenever my boyfriend talks about our future children, living arrangements, etc., I'm so elated [obviously].

Is there something wrong with me? Or is this fairly commonplace amongst young women?