[kaytastrophie_xo]

For some reason I still want to see him sometimes... Even though he shattered my life I sometimes go out of my way to see the guy who raped me. Then I totally regret it. I think it helps me stay calm when he talks to me or decides to tell me that 'we're going to do it again sometime'... I never want that to happen again...But it still makes me sick that I would ever purposly see him. I also want him to do something at school. I want him to push me or hit me. I want to get him locked up so bad that I would put my own self in danger... I never ever want him force me to do anything though... and that will NEVER change. I'm so scared that he is going to show up at my door when nobodys home... I'm scared the rest of his gang memebers are going to catch up to me when I'm alone... I'm scared because I want to die...