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Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
January 16th 2010, 06:01 AM
You are my best friend but deep down I am afraid to tell you that because I don't think you feel the same way. I know you care but I don't think I am anywhere near as important to you as your other friends.
I feel selfish for saying that because you have been there for me more than anyone else. You were the first person I ever told about my sh, ed, suicide attempts. And, you didn't run away.
I am so damn scared by the way that I trust you. I know there will be times when I get disappointed but deep down I know you would never hurt me and that scares me more than anything because I have never felt that way before.
I talked to you about my molestation a little more yesterday and you didn't run away. You talked to me about it and you listened and in return you talked to me about somethings you are struggling with. I have never in my life had that with someone. I have never been able to vent to someone and then have them turn around and vent to me  . It made me so damn happy.
I look forward to seeing you and that scares me too because I am scared one day you are not going to be there. I am scared of what we have because everytime I get close to people I mess it up and I don't want to lose you.
I love you so damn much and it scares the shit out of me. I have let you in so much and that scares me too.
You actually seem interested in me and my well-being. I didn't have to bring it up or anything and you just asked "how are things?" "How are you able to eat now because before you didn't do it much" and I was able to answer you honestly and tell you that making friends helped.
God I don't know if letting you in is the right thing to do. I hate how much I trust you because if I ruin it I am going to be broken. I know our friendship is a good thing but it seriously scares the shit out of me.
Simply put; you are everything I have even wanted in a friend. Everything I never thought I would get and I am so damn scared that it is too good to be true.
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