[John 6:29]

I've posted before but I really need prayer (I may not be on these forums for a while as I need to really think things through). Basically let me explain my situation.

I am very introverted which those of you who belong to the faith understand how difficult introversion and faith conflicts with one another. I fear that I may not be saved. I am not certain because I know the devil tries to convince those who are saved that they are not and those who are not saved he tries to convince them that they are saved (this way he wins the battle on both sides). Anyways... my series of doubts upon examining my faith has lead me to sin and a large despondency that I cannot seem to control leading into a deep depression. My heart is condemning me but I know God is faithful and if I have a spark of belief then I know I am saved, but as of now... examining my life -- I am not certain whether I have a genuine saving faith or not. Though many people seem to say, "well you are wise with the Bible -- by the things you say I can tell you're saved." Knowledge of things biblical does not save you, therefore I believe my heart may be deceiving me.

I need prayer that God would be faithful in keeping me faithful and that if I am not saved that He would lead me to a genuine saving faith and repentance in order that I can be fruitful for the kingdom and leading others to Christ. And if I am saved that He would return me to the joy of salvation and make me fruitful for the kingdom and leading others to Christ.

This despondency has become very selfish, but I need to figure out my faith and if it is my faith or God granted saving faith. Please just pray for my soul and a solid knowledge based on truth and not feelings regarding the state of my soul.

I don't really wish for encouragement, but they don't hurt.. just prayers. Thanks.