Quote:
Originally Posted by kristi87
I feel like a lot of teenagers don't look past pregnancy and the early months of having a baby. Pregnancy is not all about having the cute belly and feeling the kicks inside of you... it's uncomfortable and stressful. And after labor is all done, you have an 18+ year commitment to your little one to think about.
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Exactly. The pregnancy will be done sooner than you think... And then you'll have a lifetime commitment.
Babies don't always sleep. They don't always occupy themselves. They don't just wake up for feeding and changing and then go straight back to sleep. They don't sleep through the night. Poopy diapers smell awful... A few have even made me gag. Babies don't allow you to go out with friends every weekend just because you need a break. They're not quiet just because you want them to be. They get fussy sometimes to the point where nothing that you do will console them... You just have to deal with a fussy baby because that's the kind of mood that s/he is in. And, trust me, no one is blessed with a magical baby who never cries, sleeps through the night from the time their born, or occupies themselves all the time. No one.
Having a baby is not all about dressing them up cute and showing them off to friends. It's not going to make your relationship with your boyfriend better... In fact, having a child can put stress on a relationship because you spend less time one on one with each other, you can't go out on dates all the time like you used to, you now both have one thing to think about
: that baby. You can't just think about each other anymore. Both of your top priorities have to be that child.
I'm honestly not trying to be mean about this. I'm telling the truth. I was 17 when I got pregnant and had my son. I wouldn't trade him for the world, but I know that if I would have waited until after I finished college, etc. before having him, it would be so much easier.
Babies need formula, diapers, wipes, toys, somewhere to sleep, clothes, and so many other little things that you would never even think of until after you actually have a child and realize that you need it. And none of it is cheap. The formula that my son uses costs $21 a container... And he uses about two of those a week. He's only two months old and as he gets older, he's going to start using more and more. He goes through at least 1, sometimes 2 packs of diapers a week. That's around $20. Wipes... I'd say about $15/month... (By the way, we buy the cheap brands of these things... Store brand. Others are a LOT more expensive.)
I would estimate that we spend at least $60-70/week on our son. We also have car insurance to pay so we're able to take him back and forth the the doctor and such... Gas to put in that car... Rent so our son has a place to live.
Altogether, having this baby and taking care of him completely on our own, with no help is costing us around... $1,000/month. That leaves very limted money for my husband and I to live on. We have to eat too... If we want to have TV to watch, we have to pay that bill... Internet/phone... That has to be paid too. Heat... A baby has to keep warm.
It all adds up so quickly. If you have a baby shower, you won't even get a fraction of what you're going to need to raise this kid from newborn to adult. Pregnancy ends, babies turn into toddler... toddlers into kids... kids into teenagers, etc.
Definitely make sure you think this completely through and be sure you're ready to give up hanging out with friends, going out every weekend, sleeping in (or for longer than 3-6 hours, for that matter), or anything like that. The baby will be in charge around the house... S/he will tell you when it's time for them to be fed... When they don't want to sleep (even if you want them to). They will be the new boss around the house. Just think before you make this decision.