Well, one of the reasons I wanted to come back to
TH was to be able to talk to some objective people about my
ED.
Well, I moved away from home just about 2 years ago. I left everything and every one that I'd known for 18 years to come live on my own in Oregon. I had no job, no friends, and no real direction except that I wanted to go to college ASAP. Well, after a month I got a job working at a Wendy's restaurant. It was hard work but it was a job and it kept a roof over my head. Well, over the next few months I felt I had less and less control over my own life. I was told when I could sit, when I could stand, when I could go to the bathroom, and when I should eat. It was very stressful and I'm not one for taking orders :P. Under all this was also a desire to get really fit and in shape. I wanted to go back to Hawaii looking totally different. Well, all of these things combined and I soon found myself eating a bowl of cereal, an apple, and a leaf of lettuce every day. I felt that anything more was too much and I would make myself fat. Now, I'm a big-framed guy, meant to be muscular, and meant to eat a lot lol. I dropped a lot of weight and felt very weak, tired, irritable, and hungry all the time. It was a while before I realized I was Anorexic. Since that time, about a year ago, I've put on a little weight and I'm healthy again. I live here in Oregon but with my 2 best childhood friends. It helps a lot but I'm still afraid of eating a lot of things. I limit my diet a lot. I'm terrified of fat containing foods. For the most part, I now just eat really really healthy foods. I'd just like to let myself enjoy life a little once in a while... Participating in pizza night with my friends, brownies, the occasional chip... I just can't seem to bring myself to that point yet. ANy one maybe have a little advice? Thanks
