[Angelina]

I'm literally crying as I'm typing this. Saturday was the worst day of my life. I made the biggest mistake i could have ever made. I know you don't forgive me, and i don't plan on being forgiven, because well.. i don't deserve it. I know you know that i got angry and said things that i didn't mean to say. I totally regret it. Every time i think of what happened that night, i feel a HUGE knot in my stomach, and like i need to throw up. You could have left me. Because i know i don't deserve someone so amazing as you. But everyone makes mistakes. And i realize that maybe i made one to many. But just give me a chance to prove myself. FOR THE LAST TIME. I guarantee you this will never ever ever happen again. The last six and a half months have been amazing. There have been some big fights, there have been some small ones, theres been inside jokes, theres been nights we've stayed up and just laughed, theres been times you weren't doing so well. we have been through hell and back.

i don't regret anything with you. All i ever do is think about you. You are the only reason I'm breathing. Your the reason i made it through my last breakup. Your the reason am as strong as i am today. Your the reason for everything. The reason i wake up in the morning and know that theres something to smile about. When i think about you... theres nothing else i can do but smile. to quote JB "your the light that makes my darkness disappear" And as much as we've been through, throwing it all away will break my heart. I don't get how I'm crying so bad typing this.. Every time you say that you want to do it hurts me. I will always do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens. I sleep with your letter & picture beside me, and as corny as that may sound it is the only comfort i have when you have to go to sleep early because of school. When i close my eyes.. you're what i see. Everything reminds me of you. Whether is the things people say or songs i hear on the radio. Your my addiction, my key to survival. I don't know how many times i could possibly explain the way i feel about you. because all these words are NOTHING to the way i really feel about you. theres not enough words to explain anything. The way you make me feel is something i will never be able to explain. not now.. not ever. don't ever say i don't care about you. last night scared me SO much. And when you were finally asleep i loved just laying there listening to you, that way i know your safe. nothing could ever beat that feeling. I'll prove you wrong if this hasn't already. give me time. i love you so much baby, don't give up. don't let me go <3

although i know i shouldn't have written this on teenhelp, i don't know how to tell you this. so taylor i hope you see this. i hope you read every word. i hope you take every word to heart, and know that i love you so much.

i wish i could just have you in my arms, holding you and making sure your safe. i would do anything for that.

don't forget these three words i love you and i will forever

im sorry this was so long, but i didn't have the courage to say it to your face.

<3