[wonderbread]

Point by point.

I drink. But before, it was occasional. With my dad and his girl, his girls son, or when I was with my brother and his friend. But now, if I can get my hands on beer I drink it. If there is an open bottle of liquor and it won't be too noticable. You bet, Im drinkin that too!

My dad and his girlfriend don't want me smoking weed. Karri( dads girl) knows her son does it and is fine with it. When my dad and karri aren't home and hes out on the porch, I'll take hits. I really enjoy it when they aren't home. I always look forward to it. I crave it, wanting more. Only if I had money coming in, I would buy it from him, but I have none. Its making me want to try other things too, and I know if Im offered something else, I'll do it.

For the last several years, I have been taking a lot of tylonal or things of that sort. About six times the normal dosage. I know it doesn't do anything really but it just makes me chill. When there are other prescriptions around, I take a handful and down them, it is like I am always searching for prescriptions. Just recently I have found my dads prescriptions and taking about five of those at a time. The high afterwards is amazing. Im always looking for a high. It doesn't matter what it is, I'll take it just to get away from my reality and feel good.

I don't know if I want to keep going or try to stop all of this. I actually really don't want to stop. I want to feel good, I want to get away. I just know Im going down a path thats lookin really good and can screw things up, I know I should be running in the other direction screaming for help. But Im not. Im willing to take that chance. There is no way in hell that I am telling my father this.


I really dont know why I posted. I think I just needed to get this off my chest